When Family Members Tell You to Stay

What do you do when you finally get the courage to admit what is going on in your life, that someone is abusing you, a family member offers help, then turns around and reneges on the offer? You are packed and ready to leave. It is from the same place that you mustered up that courage the first time. Do it again. Sometimes family is simply not there to help. They are too involved in there own lives to help you. Some have no idea of what it means to help someone in need. Some will even tell you to stay, to stop making the abuser mad and he won't hurt you. It could be that they have there own shame from living an abusive life so they can't help you with yours.


You may have apprehensions about going to a shelter with your children. But going will take a load off. The tools are available to get you started in the right direction. You may have someone else offer you a place to live until you can get things straighten out. Don't be afraid to have an honest conversation about it. It could be dangerous. Some abusers could come after you there if they find out where you are. You  have to look at protecting yourself and the lives of  your children at all times. Cut the cord. Cut all the cords that bind you to him.

No one else is in control of your life but you. You control whether or not you call for help. Professionals can help you move on with your life. If you know that your family is just as sick as the abuser, don't go to them. The blind can't lead the blind. Abuse helpline  links numbers are posted on this site.